The importance of edification cannot be overemphasized.
Edification Mistakes Christian Family Members Make – Part 1
There are 4 mistakes that Christian family members make when dealing with one another. In the next several posts, I will be discussing what those mistakes are, and ways to avoid them. In this first installment, I will talk about the mistake of not knowing how fragile your family members are.
I’ve always been proud of the relationship that I have with my son, Rusty. Currently, he is serving as a missionary in Japan. Well, a few years ago, my wife and I took a trip to visit him and his family. While there, I had an opportunity to have a conversation with Rusty about an event he recalled from his past.
He was in school, and I was the assistant principal at the time. I had come into his classroom, and found that he had not completed his goals. He had gone as far as getting some of the school staff to support him, but I was going to override it because I knew what he was capable of accomplishing, and a different goal would have benefited him two weeks later.
I did not realize how damaging that was to him. Now, at that time, had he better explained to me what he was thinking, I feel like i would have understood and done what he asked. But what hurt me the most was that he didn’t feel like he could talk to me and explain. I had hurt my son, and I was oblivious!
Then, Rusty told that he recalled a time when he and my youngest daughter, Rita Beth were together, and she made what I interpreted to be a disrespectful comment. It concerned me because I felt I was responsible for her correction. I felt it was my fault.
Rusty left and went over to my mother’s house. I followed him a little later, and proceeded to speak to him and ti try to explain why I had corrected his sister. He looked at me and said, “It just feels like that sometimes you don’t respect us.”
Well, that floored me. I didn’t have anything to say. I just turned and walked away.
During that same conversation I mentioned above, Rusty said that he remembered the look in my eyes after he said that, and how hurt I looked. He didn’t remember what he said, but he remembered the look of hurt.
Before we move on, I should point out that all of my children were generally very respectful, including these two.
Family members sometimes make mistakes like these and don’t even realize it.
What Children need from Their Parents
Children long for approval and love from their parents. We’ve all seen a young child yell, “Daddy, watch this!” or “Mommy, look what I can do!” From an early age, children seek out their parents’ approval. Many of their motivations early in life come from a desire to make Mom and Dad proud of them. Even as adults, they don’t outgrow that need for approval.
A basic human need is love. Children who are deprived of that love and closeness often have lifelong problems with relationships. It’s sometimes referred to as “attachment disorder”. That is defined as “a type of mood or behavioral disorder that affects a person’s ability to form and maintain relationships. These disorders typically develop in childhood. They can result when a child is unable to have a consistent emotional connection with a parent or primary caregiver”
So you see, a lack of a loving support system can have lifelong consequences.
What Husbands Need from Their Wives
I’m not sure that wives understand how important their admiration, respect, and encouragement are for their husbands. As men, we feel the need to provide for and take care of our families. The Bible commands that we do so!
Big, showy, grand gestures aren’t always necessary to show your husband support and respect. I heard a story of a pastor and his wife. Every Sunday, while leaving the church, his wife would link her arm in his and say to him, “You’re a good man.” That was an encouragement to him.
What Wives Need from Their Husbands
Similarly, husbands aren’t always aware of the needs of their wives. Wives crave security, support, and encouragement from their husbands. Wives have a lot on their plates. Often, they work outside of the home. Many women are also responsible for the running of the household and care of the children. Knowing that their husbands are there and “have their back” is a source of great comfort.
What Parents Need from Their Children
Children, especially young ones, may not understand what their parents need from them. They may not know their parents need anything from them. But they do. Parents need to hear and see their children express gratitude for the things that they do for them. Parenting is a tough job, and it’s important to feel that what you’re doing matters and is appreciated.
Summing it all Up
So, within the family, everyone needs something from the other members. It’s a circular relationship. When everyone fills his or her role, the family can be happy, harmonious, and united.
In my next post, I’ll be discussing how important encouraging words can be. In the meantime, you can visit Randy’s Blogs for more about marriage and family relationships. You can also follow me on You Tube or Rumble.
Have a blessed day!