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Video for Blog Posts – The Covid Video Blessing

Watching Video on Computer
Watching Video on Computer

Forced into doing things we are not used to describes the year 2020 for most of us. Video for blog posts is something that some of us discovered as a transferable skill that resulted from us meeting a need during the pandemic.

Along with being a speaker, writer, and book-writing coach, I serve as a bi-vocational minister. Several of my friends in this same category got thrust into some new experiences.

Many of us, as a precautionary measure, quit worshiping at our local churches for a while. That is when many of us started doing online services. I already had a YouTube channel and some experience producing my own videos. Others, though, learned how to do this for the first time.

The Background of the Transferable Skill of Using Video for Blog Posts

I had some experience with Facebook Live, but, as often happens, I had to learn the process all over again in order to record some of our messages. For a while, that was simply done in my home office, but when we decided to return to our church, we continued broadcasting live through Facebook.

Apart from that, I have a wonderful assistant who helps me carry out many tasks that can be time consuming. So, after I learned how to transfer the FB Live videos to YouTube, I trained her in that process too.

We edit the live recording to shorten it somewhat, and to remove any copyright claims for the wider YouTube audiences.

I know I can include the YouTube videos here on this blog, but I wondered if a link could go directly to the Facebook Live video from over a week ago too.

Trying the Temporary Links for Using Video for Blog Posts

So, here goes the experiment.

First, we will include the YouTube video. Some like for me to have these replays up anyway.

Here is the video from a week or two ago:

Here is a listing of that same link:



Now, here is the attempt to go to the original Facebook Live version:

And, again, here is that link:

https://www.facebook.com/randy.carney1/videos/10224508277198421

I guess one way to check this is to publish it temporarily, and then come back and finish editing the bog post.

Since I am writing in real time, let me just say, “I will be back in a minute.” 🙂

I left and published temporarily and both of the links worked. So, you can use Facebook Live videos as well as YouTube links. (I will have to keep checking back to see how long the Facebook video links will work.)

Using Facebook Live to Produce Video for Blog Posts

How To Use Facebook Live To Get More Traffic To Your Website could be an alternate heading for this section.

Facebook Live is a quick and easy way to produce a video for a blog post that assists Internet marketers to get more traffic to their websites.

The bottom line here is that this is a quick way to produce a video for your blog post. Doing this gives you an almost unfair advantage. You will get more traffic to your website over other Internet marketers by inserting videos into your blog posts.

All Internet marketers should check out this tool because using it is a very quick way to produce videos. Once the video processes where it comes up when you open up Facebook, all you have to do is copy the url and use it as a link to a picture in your blog pos

Here’s why Facebook Live is so important…

You can start on an article, cut away to do a video, and then come right back.

How can you get started with video very quickly?

  • Go to your Facebook page
  • Click on the “Live Video” link
  • Your camera will come on and you will see yourself in the lower right corner
  • About half-way down on the left side of the page, you will see the word, “post”
  • You can go down two items below that and click on the down arrow to choose to share to your timeline, to a page you manage, or to a group
  • I would recommend putting in a title, but it is optional
  • Then put in a short description
  • When you are ready, click on “Go Live.”
  • After your presentation, click on “finish,” and then choose where you want to share the video on Facebook.
  • Wait a while for the video to show up on Facebook where you shared it
  • Start the video, and copy the url from the top of the page
  • Then you can place that link in your blog post

And the great news is, this incredible tool costs nothing at present.

You can check out this quick way to produce a video for a blog post by going to your own Facebook page.

If you would like more tips on writing, click here.

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God’s Amazing Turnarounds

Turnarounds

After all the debate is over, if you want to get results with God’s Amazing Turnarounds then these 3 ways God worked in the past will help you get results a whole lot faster today. In fact, these are the tools the source of the the inner voice of despair within hopes you don’t find out about because then their demonic secrets will be out of the bag. If you want simple, effective, and immediate turnarounds tools to make your life as a person in despair easier, then take a hard look at these examples from the life of King David before you go any further.

Turnarounds
A Turnaround

Example #1: Weeping may happen, but joy can come.

Look at Psalm 30, verses 1-5

This past way God worked to turn things around is important because we often get into states of despair because we don’t understand the confusing moments of life.

David had been anointed King when he was young, but that never came true publicly in his early life. David even got to the point where he pretended to be insane in order to spare his own life when he appeared before one of the kings that opposed his people.

God’s Amazing Turnarounds

 See how God later turned around his life. Use this memory to encourage you when you get into the despairing moments of life.

Example #2: God can turn our mourning into dancing

The way David described this experience is found in verses 6-11.

After being an outlaw, David was finally chosen as the king of Judah, and later, as king of both Judah and Israel.

This past way of seeing God works is critical to our success because life is not always sweetness and roses. Times of despair and mourning do come.

However, if we remain faithful to God, our mourning can turn into dancing.

This video gives the details of the examples from David’s life.

Example #3: We will be forever thankful when God does this

David expressed his thankfulness for God turned things around in his life. This is described in verses 11-13

This past way that God worked in David’s life will help us because we can see how God has turned some things around in the past.

Regardless of how bad life gets, we can be thankful to God because we know the joys of Heaven will far outweigh any sufferings we may experience in this present moment; however, most of us don’t have to wait till we get to Heaven. God often turns our lives around in amazing, unexpected ways.

As with any past examples, things change and adapt over time. But, from my direct, day-to-day experience, I have seen many smart people in despair – regardless of their current situation – remember God’s promises and trust Him to turn things around.

If you would like to read more articles like these, you can go here.

Also, you can go to https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCE8qd9V10SKxMU_0L1B8yHQ to subscribe to my YouTube channel.

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The Real Trick To Overcoming Jealousy

Overcome Jealousy and Rejoice in Friends’ Successes

Have you ever been jealous of a friend’s success? Have you had other friends come to you and tell you that someone else is gaining something, but they are doing so at your expense? Let’s look at how to overcome jealousy in a relationship.

You may be wondering a little about how John came to be in the situation he was in that day.

The Setup

Let me tell you a quick story about how John’s friends saw that he was losing popularity. Those who formerly went to him were going somewhere else then.

At the time John was trying to Improve people’s lives and point them to the Savior of the world..

After John realized what they said was true, he may have struggled himself because of seeing the disappointment of his co-workers.

And, for a fleeting moment, he may have been more and more tempted to be jealous himself. He realized they all needed to learn how to overcome jealousy in a relationship.

The Seeming Turn for the Worse

Then the bottom fell out from under John. His co-workers lamented that it was not just a few, but everyone was going somewhere else .

For a moment that seemed to mean he wouldn’t be able to continue enjoying his success as a preacher.

As you can imagine, he could have gotten in bad shape and desperate, but he wasn’t ready to give up on his dream of working with Jesus, not against Him.

This is a good place to read the actual Scriptural text of this true story found in John 3:22-30.

The Discovery–How to Overcome Jealousy in a Relationship

Then John remembered that the friend of the bridegroom rejoices over his friend’s marriage. There is no jealousy in a situation like that.

At that point, everything changed!

John figured out three truths:

  • First of all, his friends were genuinely concerned.
  • Second, he really understood that true friends rejoice in each other’s successes.
  • Third, he could let his friends know that only God has a right to be jealous

After all, in the Ten Commandments, God let’s us know that he is a jealous God, and that we should have no other gods before Him.

The Transformation

Because John remembered that the friend of the bridegroom rejoices over his friend’s marriage, he was able to:

  • Rejoice in the success Jesus and his immediate followers were seeing.
  • Continue to point others to Jesus, only now in a greater way.
  • Rejoice in the fact God is the only true God.

Then he lived his new dream of working with Jesus, not against Him, and he never had to worry about jealousy, either on his part or his co-workers’ part, ever again. Each of them had learned how to overcome jealousy in a relationship.

And that’s why he and all of us following are so passionate about sharing with you about “Rejoicing in Friends’ Successes” so you can experience working with Jesus and your friends, not against them! The main thing however, is to glorify Jesus most of all.

If you enjoyed this article, you might want to check out some more here.

If you are a bi-vocational minister wondering about some additional “tent-making options,” you might be interested in this page too.
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Insider’s Guide to Victory

Randy's Picture
Insider's Guide to Victory
The Insider’s Guide to Victory is found in Numbers 21

Moses was the ultimate insider when it came to communicating with God. This insider’s guide to victory is found in the Bible in the Book of Numbers, chapter 21.

Hey, Everybody!

Welcome to “An Insider’s Guide to Victory.”

Randy Carney here with a new “victory in adversity” Facebook Live post. This is for every person, and especially the Christian person, who wants to get victory as he or she goes through the journey of life.

Let me explain. We can have victory because of three provisions God gives us.

Provision #1 – God Provides For Redemption When We Need It

  • The people complained (5)
  • They tried God’s patience once too often (6)
  • God sent fiery serpents in the land (6)
  • They could look at the serpent on the pole and live (7-9)
  • In John, chapter 3, God used the analogy of the serpent in the wilderness to refer to Christ on the cross.

Provisions #2 – God Provides Refreshment On The Journey

  • God sent them to a place where there was water (16)
  • They sang the song, “Spring Up, Oh Well” (17,18)
  • When you are going through a dry place in life, God can send a time of refreshing.

Provisions #3 – God Provides Victory Over Our Enemies

  • He gave them victory over Arad (1-3)
  • He gave them victory of Sihon (21-31)
  • He gave them victory over Og (32-35)
  • God gave victory over physical enemies, and He can give us victory over spiritual enemies too.

So, what’s the point of all this?

God gives us the power and the strength to live a victorious Christian life as we navigate through tough times.

The bottom line here is that you can get victory as you go through the journey of life.

So, how have you experienced God’s provision in your life? Please let us know in the comments below.

If you would like to see more posts like these, Click Here.

You also can see more videos like these by subscribing to my YouTube Channel.

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Mothers (and Fathers and Children) Seek the Mind of Christ

Seek the Mind of Christ

Here is the replay of last Sunday’s message. This was the Mother’s Day sermon for 2020. We were all encouraged to seek the mind of Christ.

You can read I Corinthians 2:6-12 as a foundation for watching the video.

We have three observations about finding and receiving the hidden wisdom of God, and about seeking the mind of Christ.

Seek the Mind of Christ

3 Observations about Seeking The Mind Of Christ That Every Christian Needs to Make

I Cor. 2:6-12

When you were a kid, did it seem like your Mom had eyes in the back of her 
      head?
(My mother – always offered visitors snack cakes)
Many mothers are wise in dealing with their
     families
However, when they go though all the things they have to face, they sometimes
      are at their wits end.
All of us, like mothers, need to make good decisions in our lives.

Today we are going to talk about how to make better decisions and discover the hidden wisdom of God without having to go through tons of mistakes.

We can make three observations about getting the wisdom of God as described in I. Cor. 2:6-12

Let’s read the text.


Observation #1 – The Natural Person Misses The Mind Of Christ And The Hidden Wisdom Of God

  • This wisdom is for those who are mature in the Lord (6)
  • The rulers of the age missed it (8)
  • (political leaders would not let churches open, but they would let liquor stores open)
  • (political leaders want churches to limit their gatherings to ten people, but big department stores have full parking lots)
  • If the rulers had known the wisdom of God, they would not have crucified the Lord of Glory (8)
  • The natural person thinks the things of God are foolishness (14)

Observation #2 – The Holy Spirit Gives The Mind Of Christ And The Hidden Wisdom Of God To Us

  • He describes wonderful things for us (9)
  • He searches the deep things of God (10-11)
  • He compares spiritual things with Spiritual (13)

Observation #3 – The Bible Says We Have The Mind Of Christ

  • The spiritual person is able to judge all things (15)
  • No one has known the mind of the Lord that we may instruct Him (16)
  • We have the mind of Christ (16)
  • (we see through a glass darkly)
  • (we receive more light as we receive light)
  • (our understanding grows as we compare spiritual things with spiritual things)
  • (we grow as we receive the gift of wisdom that the Holy Spirit give)

So, here’s how every Christian can move forward from here:

  1. We are fearful of living in an uncertain world
  2. We are face with many situations where we don’t know what to do
  3. Children don’t come with instruction manuals per se
  4. Ask God to give you wisdom
  5. (teenage years — just get through them –James Dobson)
  6. Seek the mind of Christ

The big encouragement here is that you can make better decisions without having to go through tons of mistakes.

Now, if you’ are serious about learning how to really make this work for you, may I suggest that you come to Christ if you don’t know Him, and to seek the mind of Christ if you do know Him. In either case meet Him at the place of prayer. If you do this, you will make better decisions and discover the hidden wisdom of God. When you receive the gift of wisdom, you will make better decisions without having to go through tons of mistakes!

If you like this message, you can find more faith-based posts here.

You can more videos like these here.

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Online Church Services – Tips for Novice Internet Marketers

For the last several weeks, because of the corona virus situation, we have had online church services. In the process, it has honed my skills in using Facebook Live, making YouTube videos, and utilizing some of the material to give blog content. This actually helps with great tips for novice internet marketers.

I work with many authors, some of them beginning authors, and others who are interested in internet marketing.

One of the videos that has been a result of using my internet marketing skills

Another niche I am beginning to target is that of bivocational ministers. These individuals work many hours with almost two (or sometimes it is not just “almost”) full-time jobs.

What some of them don’t know is that they already possess transferrable skills that could provide a great second job outside their ministries. Wouldn’t it be great if they could have more flexibility of schedule and provide for their families at the same time?

They already have skills in writing, but they may not feel like they do. They certainly have skills in public speaking. Probably, for many of them, adding skills in internet marketing is their greatest need.

Why is the topic of online church services so important for providing tips for novice internet marketers?

Internet marketers know the importance of updating their websites. If they are members of a church and are comfortable in talking about their faith making them who they are, then this need for online services gives just the opportunity to learn more about utilizing video if they volunteer for the task.

Even if they are novices in utilizing video, this task will thrust them into on-the-job learning for these skills.

They may, like I am doing right now, add some of the videos to their own blogs. This gives them extra bang for the buck. They are already doing work for the church. Now they can benefit their own websites by adding new content.

What is your purpose in doing this interview about online church services for internet marketers?

I am just wanting to encourage all of us to get more comfortable with video content. For the bivocational minister, I want to show how this can increase both his skills, and how it can drive new traffic to his website.

What results have you gotten with online church services?

Our congregation has been able to continue worshipping without us having onsite services. Some outside of our congregation have joined us by video too. It has widened our ministry somewhat.

One encouraging thing to me was that a friend from my very first pastorate has reconnected and has (she says) been blessed by the videos.

How long did it take you to get where you are today with your online church services knowledge and experience?

I have been doing internet marketing off and on for about 12 years, so I have accumulated a lot of experience during that time.

Does it consume most of your day, or is it only on a periodic basis?

Since we are doing the services live, it does not consume most of my day. I always have to prepare for sermons anyway. The time I spend in church is just the same, except I am in front of my computer camera at my desk at home.

The setup time is minimal. To transfer the video to YouTube does take some time, but it is not a terrible amount. The YouTube video then can be used for replays and for content on my blog.

What made you decide you wanted to concentrate on online church services?

I had always been intrigued by the idea anyway, however, since many churches are not able to meet during this time, there were people who were looking for options to worship. We already had a Facebook group set up, so it was easy to plug into that.

If you could start all over again with online church services, what would you do differently?

I might try to learn about using “Be Live” for the video. It would allow having more than one person on the screen at a time, but what we are doing is fine.

What’s the #1 FREE software to help internet marketers succeed with online church services?

Facebook has been very helpful in this regard. All I have had to do is start a new post and then click on “add to post.” Then the Live option is listed.

Our piano player, guitar player, and song leader(s) make videos, and we open the service with them. After that, the viewer just clicks on my Live-Streaming video post, and we finish the service.

As far as I know, we have not had any audio or video issues. I take that back, one Sunday morning, I did have to stop and restart my modem. Most, if not all, of the viewers did stay with us through that delay.

The rest of the time, the audio and video has been fine.

How can internet marketers make money with online church services in today’s world?

In a world where we are constantly looking for more content and more traffic to our websites, this is one way both of those things can be accomplished, just make sure your blog readers are OK with this addition to your other content.

Some who come to your blog for the service will look around to see what else you have to offer.

Thanks for reading.

I hope you enjoyed these tips for novice internet marketers. If you would like to see more blog entries in my faith-based category, click here.

Have a Successful Marriage
Have a Successful Marriage

If you would like to check out some of my books, click here.

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Easter Sunday – Life After Death and Times of Refreshing

The Cross is empty, and that brought times of refreshing

Times of Refreshing are needed by all of us. As I write this, the Covid-19 Corona Virus has thrust us into the middle of a great pandemic. Many people are sick. Many are dying. The country is shut down in many areas.

Small businesses are struggling.

This is the first blog post specifically written for this website that overtly displays the faith-based foundation of my writing, speaking, and coaching business.

Others with different points of view are certainly welcome here. I will try to be respectful of you. Please respect where I come from too.

Will there be recovery?

Easter represents the most hopeful time of year for Christians. It has aspects of the Gospel, the Good News.

The Good News included bad news. Jesus was dead. They crucified Him, and He went through terrible suffering.

But, He rose from the dead. Because He lives, we shall live also. That is the blessed hope of all who receive Him as Savior and Lord.

In Acts 3:11-6, we have the story of Peter explaining what happened when the crowd saw a man, lame from birth, rise up and walk. He even leapt for joy.

In this explanation, Peter included a promise that times of refreshing would come.

We certainly apply that spiritually, but we also look for the hope that it gives to business owners going through challenging times.

Here is a video dealing with just this topic

Times of Refreshing Can Come!

To see more posts like these, click here.

In the darkest hour, Jesus arose. In the dark hours of our businesses, may the times of refreshing come too.

You may not have been able to go to church on this Easter Sunday. Most of us did not. Than God for online technology. Many pastors across America learned new skills for live-streaming. Maybe that will continue when we go back to live services in our own facilities. Then the word will get out to more than we were reaching before.

I pray for your times of refreshing.

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Stay at Home Business Opportunities – The Unexpected Blessing of the Corona Virus

Having a stay at home business is great!

Have you ever wished you could be your own boss? You may have wondered about stay at home business opportunities. You may have thought about an online business. Yet, you may not have felt like you had the time or the money for an investment in such a business.

Many of us are having to stay home as a result of the Corona virus coming to the USA. It looks like we may be in until May.

Stay at Home Business OpportunitiesChildren do school work at home. Families spend more time together. Since the children were not in school, this presented many challenges for families where both parents worked. Now, it may be that at least one parent is home, and in many cases, both parents are. That helps with the childcare situation a little better.

With all the inconvenience and uncertainty, this may actually work out very well for you if you have always wanted to try working from home. This situation may just turn out to be an unexpected blessing in disguise!

My Off and On Story

When I worked as a staff writer for a major publisher of Christian-school curriculum, the company provided each of us writers and editors with personal computers. That upgraded our process very much. I am grateful for the skills acquired during that time.

Later, I bought, with the blessing of my wife, my own personal computer. That was great for writing projects.

Then the internet came along, I worked as a free-lance writer for at least a year. Following that, I wrote and published my own books. FWB Publications published one of my books. Currently I am working on a project that has been accepted for by Author Academy Elite Publications.

I also became very interested in internet marketing. Then I signed up for Wealthy Affiliate, which provided great training for online marketing. Besides the training, they also provide a hosting service that will provide hosting for up to ten of my own websites (such as this one) for no additional charge. That actually is the main reason why I have stayed with them for so many years. That, and the fact that they continually update their training and services.

Serving as a bi-vocational minister gave me opportunities to have a variety of jobs outside of the churches I was pastoring. Some of those were high-paying. Some were part-time. There were some periods where I could devote most of my time to online activities. There were others, where I had very little time.

A start-up faith-based college asked me to work with them. It was like what often happened in my journey. Just as my online activities picked up, my “Day Job” would pick up even more. So my work from home journey has been an up and down experience, but it has been a very rewarding one.

Now, that we are all, except for essential businesses, having to stay home here in Illinois, there is again an opportunity to devote more time to online work.

How Some of my Online Skills Blessed Our Church

We had a national directive to limit our contact with others. The governor of the state of Illinois followed suit. Our church complied by canceling our services.

So, some of my previous online experiences have come in handy. We decided to have our Sunday morning services for the last two Sundays streamed through Facebook Live. Here is one of those videos.

We also had our Wednesday Bible Study online or through the phone by using FreeConferenceCall.com.

The first Sunday, we just had the sermon preached while sitting at my desk at my home office. The second Sunday, our musicians uploaded a video right before the one listed here. It worked fairly well. We even had a special number by playing a video from my phone and holding it up to the camera.

A surprise came when one of our former church members from Georgia, over 500 miles away, sent us a message, asking when we were going to do this again.

Creativity Rises to the Top for Many During this Time

Many businesses are creatively retooling to meet needs during the Covid 19 shutoff. Some have switched over to making hand sanitizer. Others make ventilators for hospitals. Some make masks, and most recently, some contract to make hospital gowns. Some restaurants are optimizing their drive-through and carry-out options.

How will you be creative when you think about stay at home business opportunities?

You might want to consider a writing business, a speaking business (for the future when we are all released to be around people), or a coaching business.

This is a Great Time to Start an Online Business

If you have to be home anyway, whether you are temporarily unemployed, have reduced hours, or actually get released from your company, you might as well pursue stay at home business opportunities if you have that interest.

I mentioned Wealthy Affiliate earlier. You could check it out by clicking here.

If you would like a free report about Time Management for Writers, go to DrRandyCarney.com.

There are many opportunities beside these. You might want to write a book. If you are interested in a hybrid process between self publishing and traditional publishing, I highly recommend Author Academy Elite Publishing.

Conclusion

Many of us are having to practice social distancing for a while. Some of us will find that we have time to get to projects that we have been meaning to get to for awhile.

Maybe you have wanted to start a home-based business, especially and online business.

How wonderful would it be if this time off allowed you to start a new side hustle that allowed you to say goodbye to your day job forever (if that is your ultimate goal)!

You have heard it takes time and money. It is true it will take some money, but not nearly that of a fast-food franchise. Now you have time, take advantage of the situation.

If you would like to subscribe to my YouTube channel, just click on the video above and sign up when you get to YouTube.

You’ve heard my story. I would be interested to hear yours. How are you using this time off to your best advantage? If you have a story about online marketing, we would certainly be glad to hear it. Leave your reply below.

Wishing you the best in the short, and long, term,

Randy

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Regain Trust in Marriage – Overcome Both of Your Fears

Hands Shielding Face

Regain trust in marriage? Can you really do that when you have lost it?Sometimes your or your mate loses trust over a series of disappointments and failed promises. At other times, however, a major event occurs that causes a loss of trust. An affair is extremely difficult to overcome.

Sometimes the offender has a fear the marriage partner can not forgive him or her, and they could never restore the marriage. Likewise, the offended party has fears that the spouse will not really change. Also, the one who needs to forgive may also have a fear of really being able to do that. If there is a real commitment to overcome this loss, you can regain trust in marriage. Overcome both of your fears by summoning the courage to rebuild.

How can you do that? Among other things, you can take four basic actions to regain such a trust.

Forgive

The most important step for both of you will be the step of forgiveness. With an affair, if you were the offended party, this step will be important and difficult. You will have so many emotions running through your mind. You will have a feeling of betrayal. You will feel rejected, and you will probably also feel angry.Forgive each other

If you were the offending party, and you have truly come to your senses, it will be equally important for you to forgive yourself.

While there is no excuse for what you did in violating your marriage vows, your spouse may need some forgiving too.

As time goes on, you will make deposits in the trust bank. Each time you do something trustworthy, you confirm that your spouse’s decision to forgive was the right thing to do.

At first your forgiveness will probably be a sheer act of your will. You may not feel like forgiving all the time, but you will do so because you have decided to do so.

Forgiveness does not mean that you excuse the behavior and sweep the hurt under the rug and just act like the offense never happened. We often talk about “forgive and forget.” If we take God’s act of forgiving as our model, we will see the sense in which He forgets. When God decides to forget, He does not lose the ability to know what happened. Rather, the way he forgets is that he does not hold the past against us. When you forgive your husband or wife, you will still know what happened. The key is not to dwell on the past and not to hold it against your spouse. If there is a new offense, that is what you will deal with. It is very important not to add fuel to the fire by bringing up past similar experiences.

However, to rebuild trust, you will give new conditions based on the past offense.

The first step is to forgive. Then you will begin the process of rebuilding.

Do What You Say

The best way to build or rebuild trust in any situation is to be a man or woman of your word. If you say you will be somewhere at a certain time, be there. If you say you will hold your spouse accountable for meeting certain agreed-upon conditions, make sure you stick to your word. If you decide later that your conditions were unreasonable, explain why you are willing to change them at that later date.

Suppose you say you will be home for supper at a certain time, make sure you actually arrive on time. Every time either of you does
exactly what you promised, you gain or regain trust in your marriage.

Suppose you know you will not make it home when you said you would. How do you handle that? It is very important to let your husband or wife know. It is also very important to do the informing as close to the moment you realize this will happen as you can.

Much distrust and discontent in many marriages could be avoided by simply letting the mate know what is going on. You do need to explain why you will be late (and the reason better be a good, legitimate reason, and something that you could not have easily avoided.)

Committing to this principle may help you see if you have a tendency to overestimate what you can accomplish in a certain amount of time. After you practice this important action for a while, you will be better at making time estimates.

Your spouse will also become more confident you really care about his or her time and feelings. When you rebuild this well enough, it may meet the occasional instance where you may not be able to inform your wonderful mate of your lateness with only a minimal frustration. “I knew something important that you couldn’t avoid came up,” will be music to your ears, coming from your spouse. Then you will truly know you have been successful in rebuilding trust.

First, forgive. Second, become a man or woman of your word.

Practice the Principle of Leaving

The third action you can take to rebuild trust in marriage is to practice the principle of leaving. Here, we are specifically talking about putting things behind you and leaving them there–never (a strong word, huh?) to bring them up against your spouse again.Put the past behind you You, by an act of your will, decide to forgive. Both of you develop track records of keeping your

promises and doing what you say. These track records make it easier for you to rebuild trust in each other. Focusing on the new will be very important. Leaving the past behind will be important There are many ways the principle of leaving will benefit your marriage. You leave these actions that broke your trust behind. Then you will do well to expand that to other areas where you will not bring up your pasts as ammunition to fire shots at each other. You will leave your relationship to your parents behind (and develop new relationships with them as adults to adults.) You will leave former romantic relationships before the marriage. You will leave things that really frustrate your husband or wife. You will leave former disrespect and get on with the new.

You forgive. You keep your word. You leave the past behind and then you make a new commitment or recommitment. What type of commitment is that?

Commit to Overcoming Your Differences

You commit to overcoming your differences. With an affair, you may have quarrelled over your differences in the past. Then one of you may have discovered someone who accepted you as you were. That temporary feeling of relief because of your similarities may have drawn you away from your spouse to the party outside your marriage.Mountain

We often say opposites attract. That is often true with personalities. Why is that? If is often because we see the strength of the other person’s personality type.

Each personality type, however, also has an accompanying weakness. After we marry, we see those weaknesses. Those differences sometimes cause frustration or conflict.

One very popular dating site has had great success because it strives to match the couples because of their similarities.

When you begin the process of rebuilding your marriage, it may seem like you are up against a mountain impossible to scale.

As you commit to overcoming your hurts, you might as well commit to overcoming your differences. In those cases, you realize that one is not better than the other–just different.

You commit to overcome. Sometimes you will take turns doing things together that one of you likes. The other one will try to learn about that activity. Sometimes you will allow the other one to spend time with his or her enjoyment without having to be together (just don’t let the amount of time you do this become excessive). Sometimes you will decide to something according to your husband’s or wife’s preference, even though your preference is different. There should be a balance in deciding to do this.

If you are rebuilding a marriage, commit to proper agreed-upon boundaries. Commit to the conditions for the offending party to be taken back. Commit to standing strong and holding each other accountable. Most of all, though, commit to doing whatever it takes to build a strong marriage.

Now, Start! Regain Trust in Marriage

We have seen four actions you can take to regain trust in marriage: forgiveness, keeping your word, leaving the past behind, and committing to doing whatever it takes to overcome the things that would destroy your marriage. That last action will lead to more actions.

Can you regain trust in marriage? Certainly! And, when you do, you will overcome both your fears.

I am curious: What other tips do you have for rebuilding trust in a relationship?

Tips to regain trust in marriage.