I have a question for you: What are your short-term goals when it comes to meeting your spouse’s needs?
The last few blog posts have been working on steps toward meeting each other’s needs in marriage. This is a further breakdown of step four.
The first thing you did is come up with a list of needs. You ranked each of those needs in order of importance to you, and so did your spouse. You then traded those lists with each other.
Next, you used the information in the list and those to help you understand your spouse better.
Now you’re actually into the nitty gritty of working toward projects or actions that will help you accomplish the goal of making your spouse feel better about marriage.
The reason why they will feel better about it is that their needs will be met.
I’m talking about making adjustments to your time focus.
Time is the stuff that life is made of. If you can not put in the time, you can not put in life.
In the first part of making adjustments to time focus, I said that you need to reorder things now that you’ve found out what is important to your spouse. Depending on how much of a revelation that was for you, you may find that you need to reorder your priorities.
The last post talked about looking at your long-term goals. The long-term goals came from the lifetime goals broken down into yearly goals, and the yearly goals were broken down into quarterly goals.
Go From Quarterly to Weekly to Daily Goals
Now you want to work with your short-term goals.
To come up with those short-term goals, take the quarterly goals and break them down to weekly ones. They should be the same for the week, just different projects you do on a daily basis.
So you go from quarterly to weekly to daily.
Cut Items Where Necessary
Once you have done that, you’ll more than likely have to cut something out of your already busy schedule.
Now, if you have the freedom in your schedule where you can add things, for example, if you’re retired, then you have more time flexibility. If you work for yourself and you’ve done all the hard work, and you’re past the stage where you’re working 80 hours a week on a business, you may have a more flexible schedule.
Otherwise, you may have to find something to cut out. It may be that it will be something you enjoy doing. But you are putting a higher priority on your marriage and your spouse and helping to meet your spouse’s needs.
Once you’ve looked at your schedule and found where you need to cut some things out, it’s time to add in some projects.
Schedule Ideas and Actions
At least a few times a week, ideally, you would be working on projects that will improve your spouse’s feelings about your marriage.
You could just go down his or her list and find something that has become apparent that you have not done as well as perhaps you thought you had. Maybe you hadn’t really realized how important that item was to your spouse.
So between your clients and your schedule, include time for daily projects to work on all of those things that your spouse may have a need for.
Recreation is a case where one or the other of you have engaged in that you might start looking for ways to add recreational activities and to your weekly schedule.
If you are a husband and your wife has a need for affection and romance, you might want to bite the bullet and perhaps watch a romantic movie together. That is something I do for my wife. She enjoys watching those movies, so I will watch them with her. Although, I really do like them, too. (Just don’t let the rest of the men hear me say that.) But it’s mostly about spending time together.
You could find something different that you can do in the area of showing affection. If you do not kiss your wife very often, you might make a list saying, “I learned to kiss my wife at three different times during the day.”
Those are just some examples of schedules of ideas. One man figured out that a very good thing he could do for his wife was to leave work at 5:30. He found out that they probably weren’t going to get all the work done anyway, so it was silly staying 2 hours later trying to get it done. It was better for him to go home and spend time with his wife. The work would still be there in the morning.
Those are some examples of how you can try to come up with daily goals or projects that would help you to meet your husband or wife’s most important needs.
I hope this has been helpful to you.
If you would like more tips on marriage, or to see the preceding posts in this series, just click here to be taken to all my blog posts about marriage.
I also have two books on marriage available on Amazon. The first is “21 Ways the Principle of Leaving Will Benefit Your Marriage” and the second one is “From Mountains to Molehills.”
There are more books planned, as well. The next book to come out will be about valuing your spouse and the one following that will deal with physical and spiritual intimacy. Watch for those coming soon.
Thanks for reading. I’m Randy Carney, wishing you the best in your marriage.